Ryan Kendall is broken. He understands pain. He knows the hand of violence and the ache of loss. He knows what it means to fail those who need you. Being broken doesn’t stop him wanting the one thing he can’t have; Finlay Tanner. Her smile is sweet and her future bright. She’s the girl he grew up with, the girl he loves, the girl he protects from the world, and from himself.
At nineteen, Ryan leaves to join the Australian Army. After years of training he becomes an elite SAS soldier and deploys to the Afghanistan war. His patrol undertakes the most dangerous missions a soldier can face. But no matter how far he runs, or how hard he fights, his need for Finlay won’t let go.
Returning home after six years, one look is all it takes to know he can’t live without her. But sometimes love isn’t enough to heal what hurts. Sometimes people like him can’t be fixed, and sometimes people like Finlay deserve more than what’s left.
This is a story about war and the cost of sacrifice. Where bonds are formed, and friendships found. Where those who are strong, fall hard. Where love is let go, heartache is born, and heroes are made. Where one man learns that the hardest fight of all, is the fight to save himself.
This book is recommended for 18+ due to adult language and themes.
Please note: K McCarthy is an Australian author and Australian spelling, language and slang has been used in this book.
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Two weeks later, he packed his
belongings and stole his way into Fin’s room. She wasn’t there, so he stretched
out on her bed, hands tucked behind his head, eyes trained on the ceiling, and
waited.
It was midnight when she came
through the door, giggling as she read a message on her phone. Finished, she
tossed it on her bedside table and froze when she caught him lying there in the
dark.
He heard her breath catch.
“Ryan?”
The lamp by her bed switched on,
coating the room in a warm, cozy glow. Fin was illuminated, her skin golden in
the soft light, her cheeks flushed with happiness.
“What are you …” She trailed off
after meeting his eyes. He knew what she saw. He couldn’t hold any of it
back—regret, heartache, and loss for something that had never been his.
“You’re leaving,” she choked out.
Ryan couldn’t speak. He watched
her stride to the open window, its sheer white curtains billowing. Staring out
into the night, she wiped away tears that spilled over and ran down her cheeks.
He blinked, his own eyes burning.
“I’m sorry,” he said eventually.
Fin turned and walked across the
room. Sinking to the edge of the bed, she stared down at her hands. “When?”
Ryan unlocked his hands from
behind his head and reached for her, pulling her down beside him. She stretched
out, tucking her head under his chin. Closing his eyes, he breathed her in,
allowing his arms to wrap around her. “In the morning.”
Fin’s hand fisted in his shirt as
she let out a sob.
“I have to do this,” he whispered
hoarsely. He trailed his fingers through her hair and touched his lips to her
forehead.
She started to wipe away the
tears on her face, and Ryan took hold of her hand, stilling her. “You
understand, don’t you, Fin, why I have to do this?”
Ryan needed to know that she
understood he wasn’t leaving her, he was leaving his past, and trying to build
a new future with the Army.
“I do.” She choked again and
buried her face in his neck, sobs breaking free.
“Don’t,” he whispered thickly.
“Please don’t cry. You have such a big future ahead of you. You’re going to do
big things with your life. Don’t let anyone stop you from being who you need to
be, okay?”
Fin nodded into his neck.
Ryan pushed back so he could look
her in the eye. He wouldn’t be there to watch over her anymore, so he needed to
know she would look out for herself. “Promise me, Fin.”
“I promise.”
Satisfied, he reached out and
switched off the lamp. Thrust into sudden darkness, Ryan laced his fingers in
hers and held her close. When her tears dried up, she drifted off into a deep
slumber. In the early hours of the morning, he pressed a soft kiss to her
cheek, and disentangling himself, he left the room. Having already said his
goodbyes to Mike and Julie earlier in the evening, Ryan clicked the door shut
softly behind him and left the house, careful not to look back.
That was the last he saw of
Finlay Tanner.
~~~~~~
Author Bio
Kate
McCarthy grew up in a small town outside of Port Macquarie, Australia.
Raised in a house just a short walk to the beach, Kate enjoyed the
peaceful, relaxed atmosphere and friendships that come from being raised
in a friendly, small town area.
She now resides in Brisbane, Australia, a city in the state of Queensland where she works as an accountant, along with a sideline wedding cake business and her writing.
She is married with two children, has two dogs and house in the suburbs, and a pile of friends and family dotted all over the country that help keep her sane.
When she’s not busy running after naughty kids, filthy dogs, crunching numbers, piping buttercream and writing books, you can find her curled up in bed in the early hours of the morning reading new books and re-reading old favourites. Her favourite books are the Black Dagger Brotherhood series by J.R. Ward in which she longs to eventually join the brotherhood and change her name to Phierce Mutha.
She now resides in Brisbane, Australia, a city in the state of Queensland where she works as an accountant, along with a sideline wedding cake business and her writing.
She is married with two children, has two dogs and house in the suburbs, and a pile of friends and family dotted all over the country that help keep her sane.
When she’s not busy running after naughty kids, filthy dogs, crunching numbers, piping buttercream and writing books, you can find her curled up in bed in the early hours of the morning reading new books and re-reading old favourites. Her favourite books are the Black Dagger Brotherhood series by J.R. Ward in which she longs to eventually join the brotherhood and change her name to Phierce Mutha.
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